What is healthy sexual function in women?
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Exploring the concept of healthy sexual function is crucial for promoting sexual well-being. In this blog post, we will delve into various models of sexual response, discuss the stages of healthy sexual function, examine the importance of consent, and address common questions regarding desire, arousal, orgasm, pain, pleasure, and asexuality. By understanding these aspects, individuals can gain valuable insights into their own sexual experiences and foster healthier relationships.
Models of Sexual Response:
Traditionally, the linear model of sexual response has been widely recognized.
However, criticisms have emerged regarding its limited representation of women’s experiences. Two alternative models, Basson’s circular model and Perelman’s Dual Control model, offer more comprehensive perspectives on sexual response.
- Basson’s circular model emphasizes that sexual desire can arise before or after arousal and highlights various motivations for engaging in sexual activity beyond desire alone. It recognizes that orgasm is not always necessary for sexual satisfaction, particularly in long-term relationships or when dealing with sexual dysfunction.
- Perelman’s Dual Control model depicts sexual response as a balance between excitatory and inhibitory influences. These factors, encompassing biological, psychological, social, cultural, and behavioural aspects, contribute to the strength of an individual’s sexual response.
Consent is Key:
Consent is an integral part of healthy sexual function. In Basson’s model, the stage of willingness emphasizes the importance of being open to sexual activity. Consent is the freely given agreement to engage in sexual activity, and it should be sought before any sexual encounter. Willingness and consent lay the foundation for mutually satisfying sexual experiences and promote respect, communication, and boundaries.
Exploring Healthy Sexual Desire:
Sexual desire encompasses anticipatory motivation for sexual activity, driven by the rewards it offers. Understanding the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire is crucial.
Spontaneous desire occurs naturally and precedes arousal, commonly experienced in the early stages of relationships or during adolescence.
Responsive desire, more prevalent in long-term relationships, emerges after sexual stimuli or arousal has been initiated. It is normal and should not be mistaken for a lack of interest or desire.
Healthy Sexual Arousal:
Arousal involves paying attention to erotic cues or engaging in sexual stimulation. It can be categorized into subjective (mental engagement) and genital (physical changes). Subjective awareness of genital arousal may vary among individuals. If you’re struggling to feel aroused even with adequate stimulation (i.e., the stimulation you like; usually of the clitoris), reach out to someone.
Healthy Orgasm:
Orgasm is the intense pleasurable sensation resulting from adequate sexual stimulation. Different individuals require and prefer varying types of stimulation for orgasm to occur. It is essential to recognize that orgasm does not necessarily have to accompany sexual satisfaction. Understanding personal preferences, experimenting, and effective communication with partners can contribute to more fulfilling sexual experiences. As with arousal, if you’re struggling to feel aroused even with adequate stimulation (again, usually of the clitoris), reach out to someone for help.
Seeking Help for Sexual Pain:
Healthy sexual encounters should not involve pain. If pain arises, it usually indicates either inappropriate sexual practices or an underlying physical issue. Identifying and addressing these concerns, such as tight pelvic floor muscles or infections, is crucial for maintaining sexual well-being. If you’re still experiencing pain after you’ve tried using lubricant and ensuring that you’re adequately warmed up before attempting penetration, seek help.
Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction:
Sexual stimulation should generally produce pleasure, whether it originates from self-stimulation or partner involvement. Identifying pleasurable experiences and communicating preferences to partners can enhance sexual satisfaction. Recognizing that sexual satisfaction is a personal right allows individuals to define their own needs and desires. If you’ve tried masturbating with your fingers and a vibrator on the clitoris and you still aren’t experiencing sexual pleasure, seek help.
Understanding Asexuality:
Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction toward others. It is important to differentiate asexuality from celibacy or low sexual desire. Around 1% of the population identifies as asexual. Stereotypes regarding asexuality should be avoided, and individuals should be empowered to explore and understand their own sexual identities. You don’t need to seek help for asexuality unless you’re bothered by it. E
To read in much more detail about how to know when to seek help for a sexual problem, visit the What to Do When Sex Doesn’t Feel Right: A guide to women’s sexuality, female sexual dysfunction, getting the help you need, and self-help options